Happy Almost Mother's Day!

Mother's Day is not as clear cut as some would think. Many women, myself included, travel a very difficult path to becoming a mother. Some never get their dream. For this reason, I do not wish people a 'Happy Mother's Day' unless I know their story.

My husband and I, like many other arrogant humans, thought we had control over our lives. Silly, right? I was 28, and he was 32 when we married. Because we weren't 'young', we decided to have children right away. Because I thought that's how it worked. You decide to have kids, then you have them. Right? Wrong! At least for me. And millions of other women.

Several years and two incredibly devastating miscarriages later, I was done. I had given up and moved on to making a mental list entitled, "300 Reasons Why It's Better to Not Have Kids." I remember things like, no college to pay for and able to travel on a moment's notice. Eighteen months later, we started our paperwork to adopt from Russia. Fifteen years later, I have two healthy, wonderful teenagers.

The other minefield to Mother's Day is that many have lost their mothers, and this day serves as a painful reminder. I have lost my mother to Alzheimer's. So while she is still alive, she is no longer the person I called Mom. She doesn't know who I am or even most days who she is.

This year, I will not be with my kids nor my Mom on Mother's Day. I'll be at a signing in Texas and then on my way to RT in Reno. The closer the holiday comes, the more I am regretting being away from my kids that day. But it's okay. I have the other 364 days to celebrate being a Mom.